I want to do a spread…

I want to do a spread, but I’m too tired.

Feeling overwhelmed, unmotivated, and uninspired.

I know that the cards will help me progress,

but it’s hard to be present when I’m weighed down by stress.

I keep saying I’ll do it, but I know that I’m lying.

I’m making excuses, like saying “I’m trying”.

I want to do a spread, but I’m not in the mood.

I’m not open enough to receive anything good.

I look at my deck and know something is wrong.

It’s like my mind and my hands cannot get along.

What is keeping me from connecting to you?

Am I scared that you won’t be able to break through?

I want to do a spread, but my nerves will not let me.

I’m taking a risk that the cards will forget me.

Any connection we’ve made is sitting there stagnant,

while the questions and feelings I have all run rampant.

I glance at my deck and I fight back my guilt.

I fear that I’m loosing everything that we’ve built.

Each time that I reach for them, I get distracted.

I regret all my choices, the way that I’ve acted.

I want to do a spread, so I’m just going to do it.

I’ll rely on my love and my faith to get through it.

I’ll open my eyes, my mind, and my soul.

I’m letting it happen, but I’m gaining control.

I pick up my cards, I relax and confess.

My worries and struggles, the cards then express.

My motivation restores, my trust is replenished.

I needed that spread and I’m sad that it’s finished.

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